When I talk on the phone, I tend to doodle. Here are some examples. Also, I've included my balding-pattern diagram and a diagram of David Letterman's balding-pattern, which I presented to him when I had the good fortune to be on his show January 22, 2003. To enlarge these strange figures just click, as they say.

Illustration of Jonathan Ames performing Eric Bogosian's play "Notes From Underground".

Drawing by Marcellus Hall for The New Yorker.